Tag Archives: Kink

Resource List for Curious Students

21 Nov

This is a special and unusual blog update. Tomorrow, November 21st, I will be presenting a lecture called Pleasure in Darkness: BDSM and Kink as Healthy Sexual Options for Psychology of Sexuality at the University of Michigan, taught by the fabulous Dr Terri Conley. The lecture will be filmed and uploaded here in the next few weeks.

For now, a resource list for curious students:


Different Loving  offers a set of interviews with various kink practitioners and interesting insight to the psychology and appeal of BDSM/kink.

Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns is a classic how-to guide for BDSM topics.

The New Topping Book and The Bottoming Book offer a great introduction to how to be a top or a bottom.

Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink is a question and answer book created by Midori that looks into the psyche of many kinks.


Clarisse Thorn keeps a wonderful blog that explores  many different BDSM community related topics.

Fetlife.com is the kinky version of facebook, and a great way to get in touch with your local kinky community.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom keeps a list of kink aware professionals.

This Xeromag Guide to BDSM is a great resource for “how to” on many BDSM topics.

For you cog psych people, here is a fabulous post about how to raise endorphins in a kink play session.


The Secretary is essentially a love story with kinky elements, and a lighthearted and sweet kinky movie.

I have not personally seen it, but I’ve heard wonderful things about Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Sadomasochist.


Storytime: Coming Out as a Survivor, or, How Kink Saved my (Sex) Life

10 Oct

Now for something completely different: Story time.

Trigger warning: I will be talking about issues surrounding sexual assault and survivor sexuality.

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BDSM: An introduction to some kinky ideas and terminology

4 Oct

Credentials and a disclaimer: A wonderful professor at the University of Michigan pulls me in once a semester to talk about this stuff. My information is coming from the collected resources of many years of study and community involvement, conversations and events, and personal observation. That being said, milage will vary. Every kinkster experiences and adapts the rules of kink to their own tastes and needs. Do not take this as kinky law, just as my interpretation of the culture!

The following is a review of some basic terms and concepts used within the BDSM community. For a list of more comprehensive resources, I highly recommend Clarisse Thorn’s BDSM Resource List

Kink is usually used as an umbrella term that encompasses the worlds of BDSM and fetish. We will spend more time in future posts going into greater depth about what all of these terms mean, but for now, a brief definition of each follows.

  • BDSM stands for Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/submission, and Sado-/Masochism,
  • Bondage/Discipline encompasses the physical elements of kink, including restraints and sensation play.
  • Dominance/submission encompasses the emotional and psychological elements of kink, including role play and consensual power exchange.
  •  Sado/masochism refers to the roles of one who takes pleasure in giving a physical sensation (or sadist), and one who takes pleasure in receiving physical sensation (or masochist).
  • Fetish refers to the sexualization of a not-usually-sexualized object, such as an article of clothing or object. In the world of psychology, having a fetish as a condition is when a patient cannot become sexually aroused without the presence of the fetish object; however, in the world of kink, the term fetish is used to describe any object people may find sexy.

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